my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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