I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
