I think I am morally bankrupt
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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