yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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