dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
