i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
