their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
