at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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