A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What happened to fro yo and sex?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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