He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
