Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
