and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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