If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
