I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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