I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
