Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
