just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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