I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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