My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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