if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
