you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
