would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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