$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
