Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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