You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
