I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
