I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im holly from the hills drunk
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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