Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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