1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
