Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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