im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
