just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
