I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
