I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
