I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
