the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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