David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
