You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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