you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
