this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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