Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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