No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I don't deserve a penis
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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