He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
