Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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