dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
