What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
