Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
