Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
