hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
