Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
