The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
