You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
