I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
