you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
