Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
