That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
