I look better un-naked...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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