I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
