R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
