Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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