I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize