It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
