So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
