he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
