I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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