Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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