He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
