I would go down on you faster than GM stock
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
