I wish I could punch you in the face.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize