She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
