Do vagina's smell?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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