New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize