Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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