U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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