I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
