writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
